The Cast of Gundam Wing as the XMen
by Ace of Hearts
Summary: What would happen if the G-boys were suckered into shooting an X-Men movie? Chaos, of course!


Hi, if any of you visit Aishiteru, then you might have read this fic before, 'cause I posted it there under the name Kawaii Kitty before I decided to ditch that name. Anyways, I don't own Gundam Wing or the X-Men, and the Just Communication song belongs to Two-Mix. Enjoy the fic! 

**The Cast of Gundam Wing as the X-Men**

They might use their mutant powers to fight for the very humans that fear and loathe them, but that did not necessarily mean that the X-Men didn't take the time from their busy schedules to relax and have some quality bonding time we have come to know as TV time. And right now, Cyclops, Wolverine, Rogue, Storm, Beast, Gambit, Jubilee, Jean Grey, and Professor Xavier were gathered in front of a widescreen television, relaxing. Or so they had hoped for. As the daily programs gave way to commercials, Gambit grabbed the remote control and started flipping through the channels, stopping dead in his tracks when he came across a particular ad. 

"These are the oh-so-dreamy guys you have come to know as the gundam pilots, affectionately nicknamed the G-boys. Now catch them in their latest adventure as Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei, along with the rest of the gang, take on the roles of the superheroes known to the public only as The X-Men," the TV announcer boomed dramatically. Nine pairs of arched eyebrows met his announcement in reply, as the real X-Men all leaned in closer for the preview, if only to see just exactly what this deep-voiced wacko was babbling about. They didn't have to wait long to find out. 

The screen became blank for an eighth of a second, before filling up to show a sleek, eagle-like fighter--the Wing Zero. Zigzagging in the air near the 'X Jet' were two surprisingly attractive young women, wearing Rogue and Storm's costumes. The cameras then panned to show five teenage boys and a statuesque young woman crammed inside the fighter's cockpit, shoving and pushing each other to get some space for their limbs. Playing cutely in the background was Two-Mix's English version of their famous song, _Just Communication,_ compressed into a shorter format to fit the minute-and-a-half movie preview. 

Then, the flying girls and gundam-in-fighter-form disappeared, to make way for a pair of shattered black sunglasses fluttering onto the ground. The cameras panned upwards, showing a deadpan, expressionless Trowa Barton calmly gazing upward while a red laser beam shot out from his one visible green eye. Another optic beam was coming from underneath his famous uni-bang. Clad in a black turtleneck and _tight_ blue jeans, Trowa looked up at the sky with neither panic nor confusion as the red lasers continued to shoot from his visible eye and underneath his bangs, while in the background, the word 'Cyclops' was displayed in huge, bold letters. 

Then the scene suddenly switched to a jungle view, and a cluster of moss-green bushes. A head popped out from the bushes, showing a furiously scowling Heero Yuy dressed in a ridiculous green-and-black-Spandex version of Wolverine's X-Men uniform. Heero gave the camera a fearful glare, but rather than extending both hands to let the claws pop out, the ruggedly handsome pilot of Wing Zero whipped a gun out of Spandex Space, muttered "Omae o korosu," and promptly fired. In the background, the word 'Wolverine' could be seen in giant red letters. 

The screen shifted yet again, showing a mischievously grinning Catherine Bloom wearing a lime-green jacket over a metallic yellow jumpsuit, holding a single silver knife in one hand. Catherine swung the knife in a graceful arc before throwing, and watched as the blade sliced through the air before imbedding itself less than half an inch above some unfortunate man's head. As the poor man fainted, Catherine then leapt into the air, flew in a circle, and winked and blew a kiss at the camera, while the word 'Rogue' appeared in the sky behind her. 

Next came Lady Une, with her long chestnut hair blowing freely in the wind and her chocolate-brown eyes staring uncertainly at the camera in front of her. She was dressed in a silvery-white jumpsuit with a matching cape, and cute little gold earrings in the shape of tiny lightning bolts. Lady Une then donned her glasses, glowered at the camera, and raised both arms in a gesture that would have been silly, except for the death glare on the statuesque woman's face. A torrent of rainwater then proceeded to hail from the sky, accompanied by thunder and lightning. As Lady Une flew away, the word 'Storm' could be seen amongst the rain. 

As soon as Lady Une disappeared, the thunderstorm also vanished, giving way to yet another new scene. This one showed the angelic Quatre Raberba Winner, dressed in his usual dress-shirt-and-khaki attire, and wearing a pair of cute, furry, blue kitty ears. The innocent and obviously un-beastly Quatre smiled shyly at the camera and gave a little timid wave as a light blush stained his cheeks, while the word 'The Beast' appeared in the background. 

The scene faded to be replaced by a new one, which showed Duo Maxwell dancing around like a braided maniac, a gleeful, mile-wide grin on his face as he pranced about. The violet-eyed American was hollering cheerfully at the top of his lungs, "Look at me! Look at me! I get to wear a cool trench coat! See? I get to wear a cool trench coat!" The word 'Gambit' flashed across the background for a brief moment, before the scene was quickly replaced. One could still hear Duo chanting with unholy glee, "Lookey! I get to wear a cool trench coat!" 

Then, the voice thankfully faded into silence, as the screen filled up with a scene of a night sky, and glorious fireworks shooting around. The camera stayed there for a second, before a young female voice cried out in an insulted tone, "I'm down here, you morons!" The camera quickly panned down, revealing a cute red-haired girl of about seven, wearing a yellow raincoat that was far too big for her. Marimeia Khushrenada was jumping up and down and waving her arms back and forth, yelling, "See? I'm down here!" while in the background, the word 'Jubilee' was displayed in big block letters. 

That scene faded also, to be replaced by a shot of an attractive young woman with short, dark hair and sparkling eyes the color of amethyst. She was glancing around herself with an uncertain expression on her face, looking uncomfortable in her rather peculiar X-Men uniform. The young woman finally gave up and stopped plucking at her outfit, managing a strained grin for the camera. In the background, the words 'Lucrezia Noin' were displayed. Then the name disappeared briefly as an explanation lit up the sky: 'Aka Jean Grey'. 

The final character to be introduced was the actor playing Professor Charles Xavier. The screen merely showed a loudly complaining Chang Wufei tied and chained to a golden wheelchair, kicking his feet and thrashing about wildly while grumbling about injustice.   
"The Great Chang Wufei does not play a bald-headed weakling named _Xavier!"_ Wufei screamed, even as the words 'Professor X' lit up the background. Wufei was soon pushed off the screen by Duo, who danced into the camera's view while chanting, "Look at me! I get to wear a cool trench coat!" 

After the characters were introduced, the screen shifted rapidly to allow some battle scenes, including one of Duo attempting to do a move with his green stick and ending up falling flat on his butt. However, Duo/Gambit quickly improvised by wielding the staff around like a scythe. Wufei, playing Professor Xavier, wound up being the last as the rest of the 'X-Men' ran forward to clash with the baddies. The black-haired gundam pilot of Altron was grumbling about injustice, and yelled at Noin, "Weakling onna! Get back here and stop ditching your mentor!", earning himself a glare from the youthful Preventer agent and a retort of, "Shut up, you balding Justice-Freak!" And in the background, Takayama Minami, Two-Mix's vocalist, continued singing the English version of _Just Communication,_ happily oblivious to the actors' squabbling around her. The preview ended with the 'X-Men' clashing against Zechs, playing Magneto, and the rest of his gang, while Minami belted out, "No one can deny it, no one can defeat it; I need you to know my feeling and affection TONIGHT!" 

The X-Men (the real ones), gawked at the TV screen in shock, even as the preview faded and another commercial, one about buying Dorothy Catalonia's Cockroach Eyebrows, came on.   
"I certainly showed more emotion than that when I discovered my mutant powers!" Cyclops yelled indignantly.   
"Hey, how come my claws didn't get any time onscreen?" Wolverine growled through clenched teeth.   
"I am _not_ a knife-thrower," Rogue seethed.   
"I wonder why she changed so drastically when those glasses came on," Storm murmured thoughtfully to herself.   
"Well, I suppose I should be grateful that they portrayed me in a much more handsome light." Beast shrugged.   
"I certainly don't go hopping around like a braided maniac!" an insulted Gambit hollered, shaking his fist at the TV screen--even though some drippy-looking girl with light brown hair and blue eyes had come on and was now babbling about total pacifism, and Duo was nowhere to be seen.   
"Hey, I know I'm the youngest one of the X-Men, but was it _really_ necessary to replace me with a seven-year-old pipsqueak?" Jubilee sounded equally insulted.   
"Hmm, I never knew how awful my X-Men uniform looked. Maybe I should have it changed," Jean Grey murmured to herself.   
"Oh my. That boy certainly has quite a temper. Reminds me of someone," Professor Xavier murmured, glancing over at Wolverine and idly wondering to himself why that Wufei boy reminded him so much of the grouchy man. 

* * *

~ The End ~ 

(Unless I decide to write a separate fic about the X-Men parodying as the G-boys) 


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